How I Ended My Abusive Marriage – Anubha Das** – Get Me a Divorce

Get Me a Divorce

How I Ended My Abusive Marriage – Anubha Das**

In this series we bring to you first person accounts from people who have been able to successfully navigate through the process of getting a divorce. *Names have been changed to protect privacy. If you or a loved one is going through the process, reach out to us, we offer counselling that is aimed at proving support and easing this process to help you transition into the next phase of your life.

You know how people say there are always signs? That the problems in a bad marriage are always there, we just never see them. Honestly, that was never the case with me. When I got married to my boyfriend of two years in 2017 I was confident that he was the right man for me. It was only once the Covid-19 pandemic hit in 2020 that the walls came crumbling down in my marriage. 

By May last year, as the rest of the country was dealing with different degrees of lockdown, my husband lost his job as a supply chain manager for a global retail chain. At first, I had nothing but empathy for his constant irritability and short temper. With no kids and a flourishing career of my own, the finances weren’t an issue and I thought that we would get over this bump. That feeling of complacency vanished soon. The first time my husband hit me, I blamed it on myself; I had been after him to finish a couple of chores since I was busy. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, was a mistake. Over the next few months, every altercation turned increasingly violent. He went from slapping me to beating me with whatever he could lay his hands on without any remorse. 

It was finally in December 2021, that a worried colleague sat me down and showed me the writing on the wall – I needed to end this marriage. I had no reason to stay. Late night google searches lead me in circles and most of the lawyers I reached out to were unwilling to consult with me virtually; even with the pandemic still raging. That is when I found it is the only platform I found that lets you talk to a lawyer online. The lady lawyer that I spoke to was not only sympathetic but also offered practical advice for my next steps. She told me that I needed to be recording evidence of the abuse in whatever way possible, starting with photos and videos of the wounds and bruises on my body. Her advice to file an FIR has also helped me in providing proof of abuse in my divorce application. 

The abuse I suffered has left not only physical impacts but mental and psychological ones as well. The lawyer was able to put me in touch with a counselor as well. I am still in the process of working through the paperwork required to file for the divorce in the local courts, but the lawyer’s advice has been a comfort. Over the last few months, the legal counsel has become almost of a confidant; clearing away all my doubts and confusions about the legal process. 

I don’t wish my experience on anyone, but I know that a lot of women and even men are in the same place I am. To them, I just want to say that they should get out as soon as they can. No one deserves to get hurt or even feel unsafe in their own home. Even if you’re not ready to decide on getting a divorce yet, talk to the lawyers at to be informed about what your options are and what you need to do to make your living situation safer for yourself. 

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