Get Me a Divorce


Who ever heard of the divorced Dadi?

Well, they can come see me if they every want to meet one. I am a part of this small but growing statistic of Indian men and women who opted to end their marriage post 50. Uncharitably dubbed as “geriatric divorces” by some, this is largely at the moment an urban phenomena. A shifting, more understanding attitude towards divorces has led to many older couples seeking to end their marriage.

At 55, I had been married for over 25 years when I initiated the divorce proceedings. My husband and I had a few happy years in the beginning, but had always been largely incompatible. A separation had been discussed in the passing often enough, but we wanted to stay together for the benefit of our three children. It was only at a point when all three of them had moved away to start lives and families of their own did we decide to act on it.

My children were super supportive when I broached the subject with them, offering  help and assistance at every step. They were the ones to introduce me to for the initial conversation with a legal expert. This lady, with patience and understanding went over my case and explained the choices I had in front of me. Of course, one of my biggest concerns was the financial settlement. I did not want to end up dependant on my children at this age. Given our long marriage, many of the assets were held in joint names, our home being the biggest one. In the beginning, my husband’s legal team insisted that since I had been a home-maker all my life and these assets were acquired by his earnings I should relinquish my claim over them.

On my urging, my husband consented to mediation sessions with a mediator  from , the convenience of having it online was a great help given that we are both in high-risk category for Covid-19. The mediator explained that the court was going to hold my husband liable to pay me maintenance since I had been dependent on him for most of my adult life. We have had four session with the mediator and we finally reached an agreement to file for a mutual consent divorce. We both agreed on a one time settlement that divided cash and property in a way that would ensure that a fairly decent standard of living for me.

The paperwork for filling a divorce in India is time consuming and often complicated, it really helps to have someone on your side to explain things to you. The team really works on open communication  with their clients, ensuring that you are confident enough to fully trust them. We had our first court date recently; there were a lot of questions regarding the decision to want a divorce at this age and stage of my life. In all honesty, I feel like I have lived my whole life for other people — family, husband, kids. At this point, I just want to start the next phase of my life free from baggage of the past and do the things that I have always wanted to. I know that the whole process should take about another year, post which I intend on spending time with the grandchildren and travelling as often as I can.

If you’re in a similar situation, I would urge you to consider exploring your choices. I felt a sense of freedom and liberation that I had never experienced in my life. I was lucky to have a supportive family alongside me. For those who don’t, consider talking to their counsellors are well trained and experienced; they really help clear out matters in a way that keeps your own interests in the forefront.

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