In this series we bring to you first person accounts from people who have been able to successfully navigate through the process of getting a divorce. **Names have been changed to protect privacy. If you or a loved one is going through the process, reach out to us, we offer counselling that is aimed at proving support and easing this process to help you transition into the next phase of your life.
What are your earlier memories of the word “Divorce”?
As I remember it from when I was a lot younger, it was a word more whispered than spoken. When a couple got divorced back then, people always spoke about it in hushed tone, such matters weren’t talked about in the presence of children. Growing up in such an environment I always thought that a divorce was the worst thing that could happen to you – especially if you were a woman.
I am a surgeon and I was 31 when I found a person who I thought I wanted to marry. An only child, my husband was very different from me, and came from a tight-knit family. Unfortunately as I found out 8 years and one child later — they were a little too tight knit for my liking. A string of bad business decisions led my (husband and through him my young family) into a financial crisis. It was at that point that I learnt that all of my own savings and investments that were in joint accounts had been siphoned off to my in-laws without my knowledge. This episode finished off my trust in the man and our relationship for good.
Given my upbringing and the taboo around the whole concept of divorce that I had also internalised, it was a while before I realised that it was an option for me. I remember being very apprehensive when I met lawyers recommended to me by acquaintances. I met a lot of lawyers and had many unpleasant meetings, most of them asked probing questions about my personal and professional life that had nothing to do with my marriage. About two years into this each that I found getmeadivorce.com on the suggestion of a close friend. After 2 virtual meetings via video conferencing I finally found a legal expert who I was comfortable with.
However bad the experience was, it was absolutely nothing compared to what I had to face when meeting my husband’s lawyers. Given that we had a child, who’s custody I was unwilling to share; my getmeadivorce.com legal advisor suggested that we offer a mutual consent divorce and start off with a mediation session. I was totally unprepared for the barrage of allegations that came my way from the other side. Instead of peacefully separating they tried accusing me of everything from adultery to being cruel to his parents. I never thought that my husband would fall to the level of filing a bogus FIR against me for being physically abusive towards his elderly mother. However the getmeadivorce.com mediator has stood by my side and given me the confidence to face my husband.
It is the getmeadivorce.com team that is helping me navigate these murky waters; making sure I understand that these are the usual tactics employed by few un-ethical lawyers to intimidate the other side into giving up their claims. Without solid support from getmeadivorce.com I could not have stood my ground and challenged each of these false claims in court. Even though divorce is a lot more common now that it has ever been in the past, the Indian Legal system is still comparatively lethargic. Despite our best efforts it was almost a year before we had our first date in court. My husband’s lawyers kept coming up with one excuse or another to file for continuation; while they kept trying to intimidate me into giving up the case for full custody.
In has been over a year, and we now thankfully we are in the final stages, I expect to get the divorce ruling in about 2 weeks time. Sometime I think that I am mentally and emotionally exhausted; I have gotten very close to giving up the fight multiple times in the middle. But I know when this is all over, I will be glad that I kept on fighting. The getmeadivorce.com team has been able to build my case exactly the way I wanted, putting the demands for alimony (in cash and property) as a one time settlement that will recover the money his family stole from me. The getmeadivorce.com team has helped me every step of the way from filing applications to documentation.
Now at 44, I am waiting to start life in a whole new way. Even though the last few few years have been hard, I am glad that I have my child and rewarding career that can support the both of us. My energies are channeled towards giving him the best I can in terms of lifestyle and eduction while doing something that is fulfilling. What would I say to someone in a situation similar to mine? Have patience, things get worse before they get better. But if you need to then take this step, it’s drastic but life is a lot easier if you’re living it the way you want to.
At getmeadivorce.com we understand that divorce is something we’ve been raised to shy away from. But if you’re in a situation where you’re considering it, reach out to us. We have expert legal advisors and mediators who will help you understand your choices and evaluate your options. We’re here to help you cross this bridge to a better, happier more fulfilling life.